I am scared to have sex after so long

Hey HANX Life.

I am really worried about getting close to someone sexually. It’s probably been 2 years since I have and I am just really nervous about it. My sex drive sky rocketed in lockdown and I’ve been using sex toys on my own etc. I am just worried about adding in another person!!

I am not necessarily concerned about Covid, but I think I’m just worried how me body will be intimately with someone. I am also worried I will have to rely on sex toys fro my pleasure.

I really want to be intimate with someone again, but I am scared I’ll push people away with my anxiety.

Help!! Any tips?

Thanks everyone xxx

Hi Eliza,

Firstly: don’t panic! You definitely aren’t alone, especially given most of us have vastly reduced our social contact over the past year.

That nervousness may well translate into excitement in the moment - and if you do want/need to use sex toys to reach orgasm, a partner should be respectful of that - if not turned on, too!

Take your time, consider introducing Lubricant to make sure things go smoothly and if you’re comfortable, tell the person you’re getting intimate with that you’re feeling a little worried as it’s been a while.

Are you on the apps or meeting people the old fashioned way? And do any other HANX Lifers feel this, too?

Hi Eliza!
I love when I see such open honesty like this on here - its not easy to say these things sometimes but it can definitely help so many other people too!

Just remember that you are on your own journey and get to do things on your own terms and timeline :slight_smile: I find being fairly open with people from early on can help. Maybe baby steps are the way forward - have you managed to get out on any dates yet? Would love to hear how its going and sending lots of love and support! xxx

Hey Eliza,

Have you tried Kama, the new app? They have loads of reassuring, really well written and designed Instagram post to help us understand sex and intimacy better. Lots of practical advice that might be useful to help you get back into the swing of it, too - try this one to start, I reckon if you’re feeling a bit self-conscious.

Really hope you’re managing with your anxiety and rooting for you!