Not had sex in ages and scared!

Hi Hanx,

I’ve not had sex in a very long time (we’re talking years), mostly due to a breakup then lockdown, then just no one right coming along I guess. I’ve recently started dating someone and it’s going really well… and maybe its time :face_with_peeking_eye:
I feel stupid asking this but I’m scared that I’ve forgotten how, or that it will hurt? I know that’s maybe a total myth but I’d love some reassurance from anyone who’s every been in a similar situation!!

Thanks :heart:

2 Likes

Totally get this @BeckyH I was in the same boat… not that I am an example (I just got really drunk the first time I had sex after a year break :face_with_spiral_eyes: which I wouldn’t say is necessarily the best tbh). This was also a one night stand. Since then I have met someone who I have been in a sexual relationship with, and I was open about my concerns about being ‘out of the loop’ of sex for so long… it really was not a big deal as he was the same! And it’s not like you forget how to have a pleasurable time :wink:

To be honest I think it’s quite common to have had a big break from sex at the moment, and if you’re with someone understanding it should be something you can talk about and be open about any worries with before having sex.

My top tip would be to communicate. And remember sex should be fun, so enjoy yourself!

Let us know how you get on xxx

1 Like

Hey Becky,

Sending support on this one! Any progress :wink:? Totally agree with Rosie’s comments. You can also totally take it slow and ‘sex’ doesn’t always have to mean penetrative sex if that part is maybe making you a bit more anxious you can always go at your on pace. I guess that is all down to communication!

Let us know how it goes xx

1 Like

Thanks so much everyone! Its actually still not happened but due to various practical reasons around not seeing each other… typical :sweat_smile: I’ve decided I wanna talk about it in-person next time we’re together as that will be easier than dealing with it all internally and I think I trust this guy enough to have that convo. Really appreciate everyones support and reassurance that I’m not being an idiot :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

Sending lots of support Becky! I’m sure it’s so daunting, but you will be surprised how much it is like riding a bike :wink:

Curious to hear how this went for you if anything changed!? Sending love and support :heart:

Hey Becky,

How did things go in the end? :heart: Excited to hear the goss :joy:

Hey! I’m in the same situation with a new guy! It’s been 10yrs & I had the same worries as you, but amazingly it went really really well! Turns out I had nothing to worry about at all! Communication is so so important here! If they’re worth it they’ll understand and be willing to go slowly with you xxx